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Heading back to DC

So, this is my first day back in the US. I left DC two weeks ago and headed home to Vancouver. I spent a wonderful couple of weeks in Vancouver working out of the office there. Lots happened while I was there. I have blogged about some of them in my previous posts. I also tend to complain a lot, so bear with me. This is my blog after all and what good would it be if I didn't let out my frustrations a little!

So, lets start with my journey in:
My flight was at 8:18am PDT today from Vancouver. Reasonable time right? Well, I don't like it. I woke up at 4:30am. I then stumbled about getting ready: took a shower, found my clothes etc. I woke my mum up. She has to give me a ride to the airport. We leave the house around 5:30am and I left half my coffee in the sink, unfinished. I hate wasting coffee...

Somehow, I end up listening to 730 AM on the radio in the car. That has got to be the most boring station I have listened to in a while. They went in a 5 minute loop on traffic, border and ferry wait times and how the weather would be nice... After about 10 minutes of it (in which I heard that the Alex Fraser bridge Northbound was closed till 6:30am over 5 times), I changed the radio station. Much better. At least the ads on Crave 953 are better than the same damn dude reading poorly out of a script on 730 AM.

I get to the airport around 6:10am. Get a free trolley (I'll rant about the reason why I bring up the word FREE) outside, went in to check in. The check-in machines are now the same for United and Air Canada. I don't know if that was the case before, but I know the United ones used to read Canadian passports correctly. Something that Delta does not do (another rant for another time). The check-in machine I was using was a bit flaky. It complained that it couldn't read my PR card (green card). I tried again and it was able to. Once that was done, it asked me if I wanted to upgrade or something... somehow I got to picking seats. I have no idea why. So I picked good seats. Then it said that I would need to pay $300 something for them. I cancelled, continued on and finished checking. It printed out my boarding passes for the Vancouver to Chicago flight and the Chicago to DCA one as well! So I take that, go stand in line to get my bags tagged. It completely skipped my mind that the machine there didn't ask me about the number of bags I am checking... something it has always previously done. I was only aware when I got up there and the lady asked me if I was going to check anything in. I told her what happened and she printed out a couple of tags and I was set with that.

Next, I had to go to US Customs and Immigration. That line was not that long, but while getting to it, my way was blocked by this older, larger, lets say Meditteranian grandma type. She had 7 large suitcases I think with her. And then she tried to move the card and 3 fell down. I helped her with her stuff. It sometimes amazes me how people just walk by others who could use a helping hand... not that I don't do that often enough. For some reason, her predicament compelled me to help her. Of course, helping her meant I could push my cart along as well, so its not like I was doing it out of selflessness. It is sad to say that I have some how evolved that way... and I thought of one of my co-workers... ever willing to help and make the world a better place. He's entertaining... but I think he's also a pretty darn nice human being.

I am having a hard time typing on the laptop keyboard... my finger nails have grown long over the 2 weeks (long for me anyway) and it feels weird when they tap on the keys. I forgot to take my nail clippers with me from DC when I went to Vancouver.

So, back to the US Customs line. By the time I got there, I think 4 diffferent people looked at my passport and boarding pass. I wonder how often they really pay attention to the names/pictures/flight dates etc on them, or if it is just more of a cursary look to make us feel more secure. Anyway, on my way to the line, I ran into Mr. Stockman. He's the sane US customs guy who gave me my green card back instead of the L1 visa that my company said I would have to get (by surrendering my Permanent Resident card). Thank god for people like him. I had the urge to thank him, but seeing as he is a US Customs and Immigration type, I thought it best not to really say or do anything that makes me look like an idiot. Bad enough, I am the wrong colour for these people. So, past the duty-free, into the Customs line. I got there and they shepard you into a row. I got row 20. That guy looked busy and he took his time. Meanwhile, the next guy became free (22) and he asked motioned me over. I think he is the Hawaiian type fellow people talk about and how he's a unsavoury person to deal with.

Chicago AirportApparently, Catholic Sunday mass will take place in Terminal 2 Chappel of O'Hare and I am free to attend. I guess they hold mass at 4pm CT too.

The customs fellow looked over my passport, boarding pass and permanent resident card. He scanned both the passport and PR card and then asked me something. I could barely understand him. I asked him to repeat and I found out he was asking about whether I was bringing in any food. I am guessing he meant like lunch or something... I didn't bring any of that. I just have coffee crisp, beer and various Indian spice things my mother decided I needed. Who knows if all that will make it through unharmed. Anyway, he stamped my passport, wrote ARC on it or something like that, and off I went to the CATSA security line.

Now, I've stood in long lines before. I have waited patiently for all sorts of things. I have had to stand for over an hour at Brock Hall at UBC to give them my money... think of that for a moment. There is something profound in having to wait to have the privilage almost to give someone else your money. Anyway, this line was a long one. Almost as long as the ones you see at Canadian customs when you fly into Vancouver. First, I dropped off my bags. Two fellows picked them up and (not so gently I am sorry to say) placed them on the moving belt... that swallows your bags and takes it to the inner bowels of the airport.

Apparently, I can't take a taxi at O'Hare upstairs. I cannot smoke inside either. For my health apparently. I can't smoke outside either if I am upstairs. I can go downstairs, then outside and smoke. I think I'll just keep typing... :).

So, back to the CATSA line-up. I stood in line diligently, just like everyone else. As we got closer, I started removing articles and putting them into the 2 bags I have (no idea why I have two, but I do...). The watch, in the bag. The blackberry, that one as well. The jacket, that goes in the MEC bag. As we got up to the front, again, they look at your passport/boarding pass. Then they shepard you to another line to wait. It comes to my turn. I take my shoes off, the laptop out. Laptop in one tray, shoes in the next. Then, in go the 2 bags. I had to close them at the last minute (laptop was taken out...). Then i walk, shoe-less (thank you lunatic wannabe terrorist shoe nut job for that) across the metal detector. Nothing goes off. The fellow there decides to do the wand on me. He seemed to reset or perhaps test it by running it by his metal watch first. Then, he goes from arm to arm, up and down my sides, up to my feet. Something beeps by my neck... the only thing I have is a gold chain and the plastic buttons on my shirt... anyway, I lift my chain up and still something beeps. He gives up. I go get my shoes. I am waiting for my bags (they were going back and forth on the belt thing for whatever reason). Finally, my bags come out. Laptop in, I am free!

I head into the terminal, stopping to tie my shoe laces correctly. I walk by the Roots store there. I go in and look for the Flick Off t-shirts that they had at Pearson airport and some of the stores in downtown. No such luck here. I walk out, past the Christmas store (no idea why the nutcrackers and the fake snow are still there)... right into the Starbucks line. Stood there for about 10 minutes, got up front, ordered coffee and a whole wheat scone. One of my DC co-workers who had visited Vancouver complained about the 'granola'-ness of the Starbucks in Vancouver... and I guess since they don't have those sandwiches and doughnuts that they DC Starbucks do (yet another rant for another day), I guess it is a bit more 'granola crunching'. SOme of the Vancouver ones do sell those vile breakfast sandwiches. What a great way to piss off your clients! I mean, its not like that muffin is that much healthier... but the grease is limited and hidden. I can imagine those breakfast sandwiches, heaped in bacon and cheese... not being that healthy for you.

Oh well. I went out to the glass wall that separates the US departure area from the International area. I had met Liz there once. It was funny actually. I was heading to DC, and she to Asia. We talked across the glass wall by a locked door with a little crack. I have a picture of that at home, I will dig that up and put it up here. I sat there, used the free yVR-PUB wifi access and emailed a few folks, surfed on facebook, and then called it quits and left. As I was leaving, I noticed it was 7:40am or so. I headed out slowly to my gate and viola, there are people boarding! I go to the public phones there, call my mum, tell her I am in and all is good and then head in. I get to the back of the plane... and it looks like I have all 3 seats. Wohoo! Well, not so fast. This rather mean looking guy (think of a clean-shaven suave villian from a movie) comes up looking at seats... and I muttered under my breath... not him. Please let there be a hot girl, somewhat talkative and friendly. That NEVER happens. I've got the weirdest seat-mates on planes. AS couple of times though, they have been people I know and like ;) and that's a good thing.

Of course, Mr. scary looking dude says he is sitting next to me. Right next to me. I had the aisle seat. Still... 1 free seat means he will hopefully move to the window and I'll have room to sit in. No such luck. Most people were settling in when this dude came up, and his tag said 24A... damn. Okay, so we moved over and let him get in. I had the Economist and I was set for the flight. Except I was sleepy. Really sleepy. I tried to sleep, but no luck. This was an old-school 757 that United had. It had those 80s CRTs sticking out in the middle of the plane. If you're tall, you might take a knock on your head if you're not careful. The seats were extra cramped. I tried to stretch my legs in the aisle but that's not that easy when you're belted in. And that dude had his stocky arms on the arm rest.

I tried to sleep but was not that successful. It was positively uncomfortable. I haven't been this uncomfortable on a plane in a while. My Air Canada flights in were awesome... the planes were newer, much newer. I hope United starts updating their planes soon. I got my complimentary cookie and water. Then the fellow next to me starts talking. He found a more receptive convesationist in the fellow next to him by the window. The scary looking fellow, he turns out to be a rancher. He keeps horses that help to herd cattle or some such. He also mentioned something about being 100km from Kamloops or something. I tried not to listen in. The other fellow turns out to be a Helicopter pilot heading out to Florida. He works for some company that does something with oil rigs and uses helicoptors. Apparently, he works out of all sorts of places. Normally in the Vancouver area somewhere, but he's worked in former Soviet republics (Central Asia), Pakistan, Malaysia etc. Sounded like a cool job.

After many hours (and after watching half of Surf's Up), we got to Chicago! Hooray. Before I stop with the United plane I was in, here's the last rant. For now. The main air hostess person who talks on the PA before take-off had the most awful accent and spoke too fast. I have nothing against accents if I can understand them. I've been able to converse with people from the Isle of Skye for god's sakes. This woman was mumbling... and that too fast. I think she was Hispanic (sounded that way anyway), but the only hispanic looking female staffer on board actually spoke perfectly understandable American.

Chicago airport is HUGE! At one point in the taxi, our plane actually went OVER a set of train tracks and roads! That's amazing. I wonder though how worried security folks are... I assume the street is accessed easily by the public and that can't sit well with the folks who fret security and come up with every scenario for the destruction of the free world. We disembarked from the plane and I had to switch terminals. I turned my phone once the plane landed and wow, did I ever get a tonne of emails! I also got 2 Voice mails. One from my manger. The other from my physician in DC. I had done a physical a week before I left and apparently, I have hight HDL cholesterol. That was not the best news to hear. I called my mum to let her know I was in Chicago.

I headed to terminal B. The walkway is quite cool. I was last in Chicago in 1990. Much has changed since then. The airport looks fancy. I have to say the new lights and the wonderful natural lighting makes the place quite attractive. Food options were somewhat limited. Just after my cholesterol phone message, I went to eat... at Chili's. That seemed to be the healthiest thing around... I got a turkey sandwich with lots of mayo... and home fries which were just fries. I thought it would be something nicer (baked perhaps), but no such luck. I scraped off the Mayo and didn't eat all my fries...

I had asked the dude there for a coffee and he gave me a cold cup of coffee and UHT milk. I've heard (in Father Ted) that UHT is shite... and while I am not sure what it really is, I have to agree that it is shite. I will go wikipedia on the berry and check... Its Ultra High Temperature processing for milk. Apparently, after treatment, that stuff is viable for 5 months... eww. I couldn't believe how cold the coffee was. Oh well, no good tip for him. Never eat at Chilis again. Not really good food and poor service as well. As I was leaving, this old lady who had just sat down at the table next to me orded the Mushroom Swiss burger and added bacon to it. I couldn't help feeling a bit sad that I shouldn't really be able to eat things like bacon again... damn cholesterol issues. Oh well, I don't want to be on statins or anything unfunny like that, so I'll heed the good doctor's advice and get healthy and eat better. Just let me know where I can find healthy food the next time I am in an airport. Damn cheese laced, mayo soaked turkey sandwich with 'home' fries. That was the healthiest sounding thing on their menu btw.

I walked around the airport for a bit, found the powered area and sat down to use the computer. They have SO many advertisements about their 'concourse' wifi... that I thought it was so awesome to finally see a US airport with free Internet access. WRONG. You have to pay $6.95 at least to use that Boingo stuff. Hooray. Why not just offer people free wi-fi? Because you can make money with it. Same reason most hotels in DC offer wi-fi for a price. I have seen airports in many parts of the world... Singapore for example has tonnes of terminals for you to use the Internet, YVR has free public wifi (though it only works in some places...) but I have yet to see a US airport that offers free wifi. I am too lazy to figure out how to use the blackberry as a modem... and at any rate, I have no cable to connect it to my laptop...

So, that's where I come to the end of my blog for now. I still have an hour and a bit to go before I fly out to DC. I will go take a picture of the dinosaur that is in Terminal B of Chicago O'Hare. And maybe read the economist or Trudeau's biography.

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