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Dear birds

Dear birds, now that spring (or summer if you believe the temperatures today) is out, I understand that you are out to enjoy the weather, the trees and what not. I am glad you are out. You make, for the most part, very sweet noises and provide welcome distractions while I wait for the bus.

However, I do have a gripe to bring up with you. I do not appreciate you emptying your bowels while I am walking below you. As it is, I feel bad that I get to work so late... I don't need you letting loose on me on my way to the bus stop, thereby making me walk back home, wash my hair and be even more late for work. Do me a favour and stop crapping while people walk under you. Try using one particular corner of your world (nowhere near my place of residence, place of work or anything else) as most humans do. You might find the rest of your world more enjoyable. I agree with you that seeds need to be dispersed and all, but they are not going to germinate on my head... or on the concrete below. Try finding areas where trees grow over open earth and plants that are not on the sidewalks...

I can't for a second claim to be perfect. Us humans do all sorts of terrible things to you birds; we cut down trees, drive cars and blow smoke at you, use pesticides that cause your shells to be brittle... but we don't crap on you do we? We try to do our business in the privacy of a rest room for the most part... and apart from the drunks and some of those Tamils who ruin beaches in Chennai, we our very best to keep that stuff out of sight... so why not try that?

Dear birds, please be nice to me. Some tell me that you crapping on me is supposed to bring me luck, I feel like you ruined my hair and my jacket (because I wiped it off with my jacket sleeve in horror). I am sorry for whatever triggered that... but can we please call it a truce? No more crapping on me or sidewalks or anywhere where I am. I'll leave out bird seed... pretty please?
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